Another reason why losing weight is challenging: you aren't called upon to do anything so much as not to do something.
Doing something can be difficult, of course: getting yourself to exercise, to make unpleasant phone calls, or to get around to an errand you have been postponing. But not doing something is even more challenging, unless it's something you don't do anyway. I've never been a smoker, so not smoking is no challenge for me, and neither is not shooting up with heroin. But everyone eats (except anorexics), so not eating at all is not an option.
The challenge is turning abstention (I won't eat any more chocolate ice cream) into a positive action. Could it be that re-framing abstention as action is a way of making the process easier: I am changing my eating habits.
Is this related?
Yesterday I played flute duets with a friend, who has been playing flute for a lot longer than I have, though it isn't his primary instrument, and I played below my ability. Why did that happen?
It's always harder to play with other people than it is to play by yourself. You have to listen to them, keep up with them, and be listened to by them. You're playing under pressure, even if the people you are playing with are friends and supportive. When I play alone, I'm not self-conscious. I assume that anyone who can hear me is trying hard not to pay attention. But my friend and I were paying attention our own playing, and attention is critical (if not necessarily judgmental). Also, we were sight-reading a bunch of duets that neither of us had practiced, so we naturally made mistakes (my friend was also playing below his ability).
The difficulty in playing an instrument in a new situation, with other musicians, is in collecting yourself, remembering to do all the things that make your playing passable: breathing, embouchure, fingering, feeling the music and playing it correctly. Paying attention to all of these factors is easier when you don't have the additional distraction and pressure of playing with someone else.
So maybe it's a matter of re-framing again. The presence of a fellow musician, rather than distracting you from what you need to bring to your playing, should focus your attention on it.
Doing something can be difficult, of course: getting yourself to exercise, to make unpleasant phone calls, or to get around to an errand you have been postponing. But not doing something is even more challenging, unless it's something you don't do anyway. I've never been a smoker, so not smoking is no challenge for me, and neither is not shooting up with heroin. But everyone eats (except anorexics), so not eating at all is not an option.
The challenge is turning abstention (I won't eat any more chocolate ice cream) into a positive action. Could it be that re-framing abstention as action is a way of making the process easier: I am changing my eating habits.
Is this related?
Yesterday I played flute duets with a friend, who has been playing flute for a lot longer than I have, though it isn't his primary instrument, and I played below my ability. Why did that happen?
It's always harder to play with other people than it is to play by yourself. You have to listen to them, keep up with them, and be listened to by them. You're playing under pressure, even if the people you are playing with are friends and supportive. When I play alone, I'm not self-conscious. I assume that anyone who can hear me is trying hard not to pay attention. But my friend and I were paying attention our own playing, and attention is critical (if not necessarily judgmental). Also, we were sight-reading a bunch of duets that neither of us had practiced, so we naturally made mistakes (my friend was also playing below his ability).
The difficulty in playing an instrument in a new situation, with other musicians, is in collecting yourself, remembering to do all the things that make your playing passable: breathing, embouchure, fingering, feeling the music and playing it correctly. Paying attention to all of these factors is easier when you don't have the additional distraction and pressure of playing with someone else.
So maybe it's a matter of re-framing again. The presence of a fellow musician, rather than distracting you from what you need to bring to your playing, should focus your attention on it.
No comments:
Post a Comment