In the few days since we set the clock back, I have been disoriented. I almost always know, pretty accurately, what time it is. I often check myself, saying, "It must be four-thirty now," and then I look at my watch and see that I wasn't far off. But now the clock on my computer is telling me that it's ten after five, and my sense of time is telling me that it's ten after six, and, until we set the clock back, I would have been out of bed by this hour. The coffee would be made, and I would be reading Haaretz in Hebrew, getting angry at another awful thing that my government has done or wants to do.
Actually, two days ago, when I was really waiting for the bus to my class, it came later than I expected, and I was afraid I would be late.
In my dream, after waiting for an inordinate amount of time, I took a closer look at the bus stop and saw that the bus I needed didn't pass by there at all, so I started walking, looking for the bus number I needed. Suddenly I was in a strange city, which I knew was Paris, but I didn't know where I was in "Paris," where I had to go, or how to get there. I asked a man in the street, who was extremely pleasant and anxious to set me on the right path. He had a little slip of paper in his hand, maybe with the address of my pottery class, and he kept squinting up at the street signs.
I realized that he didn't know how to get there either, so I gave up on trying to get to the class and left the man, the strange city, and the dream -- I woke up.
I often have Lost in a Strange City dreams, nightmares, really, where I take the wrong bus and can't figure out where it has taken me or how to get where I want to go.
I cannot explain the chasm between my way of thinking and theirs.
It's hard for me to imagine someone who can't make up their mind, someone with no clear political leaning, someone who can be convinced to vote one way or another by a political campaign. But there are millions of them out there, and they are going to determine the outcome of the election and, to be dramatic, the fate of the world. Perhaps declaring oneself undecided is a way of feeling powerful. I certainly don't believe the public opinion polls that are published every minute or so. Hilary's lead doesn't make me confident. I won't rest easy until she has actually won - and even then the contest will be far from over.
I am fearful, because American power is so important, and the outcome of this election matters not only to America, but to the whole world. I am worried because so many citizens of the United States support Trump. He's too old and not ideological enough to start a true fascist movement, but he's shown the potential for it, and a younger demagogue will undoubtedly seize the opportunity his campaign has revealed. The huge pool of Trump supporters will not evaporate after he loses the election, and, if he wins, it will inundate the entire country.
In my working life, I am editing the translation from German of a biography of Werner Scholem, the elder brother of the eminent scholar of Kabbalah, Geshom Scholem. Werner was a devout Communist, a prominent leftist politician in his day, and he was murdered by the Nazis. I've reached 1933 in the book, the year that Hitler came to power, and the events are harrowing. Within weeks the German legal system was hijacked and placed in the service of the Nazi dictatorship.
The rightist government in Israel is also trying to pass anti-democratic laws, and a lot of citizens support the idea.
The next American president will nominate Supreme Court Justices, who will decide what is legal in the United States for decades. Reactionary judges will create a reactionary legal system. The prospect is horrifying - at least to me.
I think so.
We are all waiting for a bus to take us somewhere, but it won't come, and we'll never get there.
***
I woke up at half-past four in the morning out of a dream of disorientation. I was waiting for the bus to my pottery class, close to downtown Jerusalem, but instead of waiting where I usually wait, on the Hebron Road, a very busy, wide street with heavy traffic, I was waiting on a quiet side street. A long time passed, and the bus didn't come. I was thinking of calling up my teacher and telling her that I was going to be late, because I am an obsessively punctual person and usually come early to the class, which is not always convenient for my teacher.Actually, two days ago, when I was really waiting for the bus to my class, it came later than I expected, and I was afraid I would be late.
In my dream, after waiting for an inordinate amount of time, I took a closer look at the bus stop and saw that the bus I needed didn't pass by there at all, so I started walking, looking for the bus number I needed. Suddenly I was in a strange city, which I knew was Paris, but I didn't know where I was in "Paris," where I had to go, or how to get there. I asked a man in the street, who was extremely pleasant and anxious to set me on the right path. He had a little slip of paper in his hand, maybe with the address of my pottery class, and he kept squinting up at the street signs.
I realized that he didn't know how to get there either, so I gave up on trying to get to the class and left the man, the strange city, and the dream -- I woke up.
I often have Lost in a Strange City dreams, nightmares, really, where I take the wrong bus and can't figure out where it has taken me or how to get where I want to go.
***
A week from tomorrow the world will know who has won the elections in the United States, and I imagine I won't sleep very well from now till then. Most of my friends agree with me politically and support Hilary Clinton, but I have a couple of friends, men whom I like, who detest Hilary. One of them sent in an absentee ballot for Trump, and the other, for the first time, has decided not to vote at all.I cannot explain the chasm between my way of thinking and theirs.
***
Since I live far away from America, and I don't watch television, my exposure to the campaign has been limited and more or less under my own control. I can read the articles in the paper if I feel like it, and I can watch the clips on my computer, if I feel like it. And I seldom feel like it. Nothing that has happened since the very beginning of the presidential campaign has changed the way I intended to and finally did vote.It's hard for me to imagine someone who can't make up their mind, someone with no clear political leaning, someone who can be convinced to vote one way or another by a political campaign. But there are millions of them out there, and they are going to determine the outcome of the election and, to be dramatic, the fate of the world. Perhaps declaring oneself undecided is a way of feeling powerful. I certainly don't believe the public opinion polls that are published every minute or so. Hilary's lead doesn't make me confident. I won't rest easy until she has actually won - and even then the contest will be far from over.
I am fearful, because American power is so important, and the outcome of this election matters not only to America, but to the whole world. I am worried because so many citizens of the United States support Trump. He's too old and not ideological enough to start a true fascist movement, but he's shown the potential for it, and a younger demagogue will undoubtedly seize the opportunity his campaign has revealed. The huge pool of Trump supporters will not evaporate after he loses the election, and, if he wins, it will inundate the entire country.
In my working life, I am editing the translation from German of a biography of Werner Scholem, the elder brother of the eminent scholar of Kabbalah, Geshom Scholem. Werner was a devout Communist, a prominent leftist politician in his day, and he was murdered by the Nazis. I've reached 1933 in the book, the year that Hitler came to power, and the events are harrowing. Within weeks the German legal system was hijacked and placed in the service of the Nazi dictatorship.
The rightist government in Israel is also trying to pass anti-democratic laws, and a lot of citizens support the idea.
The next American president will nominate Supreme Court Justices, who will decide what is legal in the United States for decades. Reactionary judges will create a reactionary legal system. The prospect is horrifying - at least to me.
***
Is this connected to my dream?I think so.
We are all waiting for a bus to take us somewhere, but it won't come, and we'll never get there.
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