Arnie Lawrence, my musical guru, in a way, said he never practiced. He only played. What he meant was that practicing was a way of playing that didn't count. "I know it sounds bad, but I'm only practicing." Arnie insisted that playing must always count, even (and perhaps especially) mistakes.
My teacher had to cancel the flute lesson I was preparing for today, so I decided not to work on the pieces I'm learning for my lessons - an arrangement of the Bach Two Part inventions as a duet for two treble instruments and one of the Handel flute sonatas - and simply play whatever decided to come out of the flute, to find out what was on my musical mind, such as it is.
That was enlightening, another way of hearing myself playing, which, after all, is of prime importance. Hearing yourself is a step toward knowing yourself. Arnie used to tell his students about a musician who would say, "Don't ask my how I am until I've played my drums." That's how he knew how he was.
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